Here's what bugs me about daycare...
If you've been reading TAA for a while, you know that Shaun and I decided to send Penelope to daycare starting when she was 6 months old. Though we love it and know it was the right choice for our family (for a number of reasons), it still ranks as one of the hardest things I've ever done. Overall we are very happy with daycare. She is such a happy kid, she is loved, she is excited to go to 'school' (most mornings), she is learning so much and she is able to play with other children her age. I'd say I'm mostly very happy with the current situation.
But here's what bugs me. When daycare centers - because technically Penelope is in daycare, not in school - have events and other parent-mandated occasions during daycare hours. And not at the very beginning or the very end of those hours...like right smack in the middle of the day events for which parents are expected to be present.
This morning, I found out that today is "school uniform measurement day." When the new daycare session starts in August, Penelope will be moved up to the next room and that age group wears uniforms each day. I have lots of thoughts on uniform-wearing, which is a post for another time, but I was informed that measurements are from 3-5pm today and a parent needs to be present.
Um, what? Daycare hours are until 5:30 and we pay extra for late pick up at 6. So now Shaun or I need to leave work early to be there for measurements. And this is on top of Penelope getting sick last week, resulting in Shaun and I each taking a day off of work to be home with her. Add to that that I've been sick for the last 2 weeks and have already been in and out of the office on sick days and for a multitude of doctor appointments...and well, I just can't swing it.
So what are we parents to do? And this isn't the only time this has been an issue.
In October, daycare started their Halloween party - for parents to join - at 1:30pm. I'm sorry but even if I'm leaving early for trick or treating, a 1:30 family party at daycare is just not going to happen. That's a half day at work at best, and for me, if have to leave the office by 12:30 to make it in time and at that point, it's really not even worth going in at all. It was a similar deal for the Christmas and Easter parties. All the kids in these classes have working parents...so why are parent events scheduled during work hours? And midday work hours no less?
It's hard enough to be a working parent with a child in daycare without these other events that are seemingly designed to either make us crazy or make us feel extreme guilt about not being there. I missed the Halloween party last year (because it was on another tail end of P being sick and skipping so much office time), but knew she was so young she probably wouldn't know the difference. I did make a note though that this year, I need to be there and so I have a half day penciled in on the calendar.
So I'm not sure what I plan to accomplish with this post, other than to say that sometimes being a working parent with a child in daycare really sucks. It's hard and guilt-ridden and there is seemingly always something to deal with or work into the schedule. And thus I ask, daycares...please, can we schedule parent events for before or after hours?
And so parents I ask you...have you ever dealt with this? Do your daycare centers or schools schedule events in the middle of the work day?
7 Comments | June 2, 2015 | Share Article | Email Article | in Baby Talk Tuesday Print Article | Permalink
Reader Comments (7)
Thank you for posting this. I can completely relate. I miss my daughter's "school" events all of the time because they are at odd times like 10am, 2pm, etc. We just got a notice for "Donuts with Daddy" for Father's Day and its for 10am on a Thursday! Um, DADDY WORKS! Now I fear she will be sitting there all alone wondering where her Daddy is....We love her day-care, but they need to realize not everyone has flexible schedules!
Wow, this surprises me! All of our daycare events (Mother's Day Tea, Father's Day Ice Cream Social, Christmas party, etc) are on the weekends. So sometimes we need to miss them because we have other social obligations, but they don't conflict with work. When there are occasional performances (usually only 1-2x per year for the older classrooms), they tend to be later in the afternoon so yes, I'll need to leave work early, but can still work more than a half day. Midday is naptime anyway, so they tend not to schedule things then. On occasion, they'll offer things in the mornings (like flu shots beginning at 7am) so people can come a bit earlier than normal and not have it affect their day.
Perhaps suggest options like this to your daycare? In the meantime, I'll be more appreciative of mine and their scheduling accommodations!
My daycare does this a few times a year as well. I try make it when I can and when I can't I'm lucky enough to have lots of family close by. My mother-in-law loves to step in especially for parties and programs. I know it is only going to get worse when they start school and more families will have stay at home parents.
Yes! Thank you for posting this. I think the same thing all the time. The reason our little guy is in daycare is because we work, therefore we can't be there for all of the 'middle-of-the-day' activities. I feel very guilty when neither my husband nor I can be there, and I have never understood why they schedule these! Ahhh! Feels good to vent. :)
I agree and have thought this also. Have you gone to the board to discuss it? I decided to join the board as a parent member so that I can know everything that goes on and it's easier to put my two cents in while I'm there. It's been great and the other members of the board have taken the parent view very seriously and worked around things when they can. I've also sent a grandparent in my class for activities I can't make it to - is that an option?
Oh my goodness, yes! My daughter has a few things sprinkled throughout the year in the middle of the day. One of the most annoying is the mother's social. I swear it is just a ruse to get us to pick our kids up 2 hours early on a Friday. They plan mediocre activities and serve bagged cookies and chocolate milk. :) I admit I go to everything because my single mommy guilt outweighs everything else. On the flip side, they do plan a couple really fun activities throughout the year on the weekend or in the evenings, so it evens itself out, I guess! I'm dreading when she is old enough for school - I'm sure the expectations will increase dramatically!
That seems so ridiculous! Have you said something to them? I'd be curious what their response is. The whole purpose of daycare is because parents work, right? Ugh. I just started a Mommy & Me class with Demi and the only reason why we can go is because I'm going back to work part-time, but otherwise they don't offer anything for working parents. It's a bummer!
But, I think working parents feel guilty and stay-at-home parents feel guilty for other reasons...I'm convinced there isn't an ideal situation!