On Feeling Like an Adult
Last weekend, I slept over at my parents house. Both of my sisters were there. It was the original 5 of us (3 sisters + Mom and Dad) and I loved every moment. Sleepovers like this hardly ever happen anymore now that I’m married, Kimberly lives in Manhattan and Christine is away at school for most of the year. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time this happened.
Shaun had a company retreat on Saturday and Sunday (yes, directly after I returned home to him from 5 days in Las Vegas!), so it was the perfect opportunity to get some family QT. We food shopped, prepped for our Father’s Day BBQ, went in the hot tub with glasses of wine in hand. I crashed my sister’s bed since my old one was in use by my cousin. I loved it.
I adore my life with my husband. He is my best friend and the love of my life. I wouldn’t change one bit of our life together for anything. But once in a while, it’s nice to feel like a kid again.
To have Mom make you dinner (and order you around in the kitchen). To hear Dad working in his office or making another container of whipped cream. To be silly and ridiculous with my sisters in the middle of the night (this may or may not include a serious and lengthy discussion and debate on our favorite packaged dessert while all crammed into Christine’s bed - I had a tough time deciding between Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls and TastyKakes Butterscotch Krimpets...ahh childhood). Hearing Chloe barking to go outside at an ungodly hour...and pretending to be asleep and aloof to this going on. To be woken up by Mom standing in the doorway asking, “don’t you think it’s time you got up?” with a cup of tea in her hand.
As we were hanging in the hot tub (no music videos being made!), we all got to talking about being an adult and actually feeling like an adult. The two don’t necessarily coincide, do they?
In a few weeks, I’ll turn 29. Heck, I’m pushing 30. I’m married. I own a home. Shaun and I talk about having kids. All signs point to being a grown-up. I can take care of myself, after all. I pay my bills, clean my house, make dinner every night, make sure candles are blown out before bedtime, that we’re not wasting energy (or major moola) during the day by leaving our air conditioner or heat on. But do I necessary feel like an adult?
I can’t say that I do. Growing up, it’s assumed that Mom and Dad have all the answers (I still feel like they do). That they are adults. They must feel grown-up, no? They are much older than us, right? That switch must have turned on at some point and they turned the elusive corner from feeling like a kid and feeling like a grown-up. So I wondered when I might feel it. When I turn 30? 40? 50? 80? When I have my first child? When I’ve weathered a major storm (something I’m so thankful that I have not had to do yet in my life)?
When I asked my parents when they started feeling like adults, I’m not so sure that they do yet either. Mom said that losing your parents makes you feel like more of an adult - she lost both of hers by the time she was just about my age, a tragedy that I cannot even fathom, let alone understand.
Though I’m certainly not chasing that ‘adult’ feeling, my curiosity is piqued. Perhaps we never cross that bridge into real adulthood. Isn’t it that whole young at heart thing? Perhaps I’m on the verge of yet another meltdown over my age and how time seems to fly faster and faster as the years pass. Or perhaps all of these daily bits and responsibilities is actually that grown-up feeling.
What do you think? Have you crossed that threshold into feeling like an adult?
11 Comments | June 23, 2011 | Share Article | Email Article | tagged thoughts | Print Article | Permalink
Reader Comments (11)
I've been thinking about this a lot lately - I haven't posted about it yet, but I'm having to make a difficult living decision and to be honest "being an adult" is weighing heavily on the decision I make.
I feel like an adult in so many ways - but I also feel like I'm not in others, and I struggle with the feeling that those "other" ways mean that I've failed! I wonder if I'll ever REALLY feel like an adult!
I know I'm an adult and do all the things an adult is supposed to do. BUT I still try to keep my childlike awe and wonder with the ways of the world. I still get excited at the silliest things - like a bird building a nest in the wreath on my front door - I can't wait to hear the chirp of the baby birds....life's too short to be an adult ....I only wish I could go back and spend the weekend with Mom and Dad and have that feeling of being a child again - count yourself lucky Rachel and cherish every moment....your Mom knows what I mean.
I think this is my favorite post of yours! Honestly, I think about this a lot. I do NOT feel like an adult at all, yet everything I do is being an adult. It makes no sense! Maybe it is better to not feel completely grown up:-)
You and your sisters are adorable, by the way! I also love getting time with my sister and parents and having a few moments like it used to be.
loved this post! i'm waiting for my switch to flip too. and you and your sisters are just adorable!
I think adulthood is this weird thing that doesn't really "exist" ...when I was younger, I thought that being 30 would feel really...old. I'd look like a grown-up and feel differently too. But since we grow up so gradually, we never sense the changes. They happen slowly, and I really don't feel different than I did 10 years ago...however, I could if I made a list of all the things that are different. I hope to never feel "grown up!"
Binks and I just had a conversation about this the other day. I know that while we (similar to you two) are in the same phase - house, bills, baby (not you but still!), etc...I don't feel like an adult. I feel just as lost sometimes on things as if I'm a teenager. I don't necessarily feel adult but find myself doing adult activities (cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc.). One thing I have noticed is that I find myself not liking younger things as much as when I was younger. For instance, I actually caught myself saying - Geez, the music sucks these days. I really had to pause. I mean I guess I feel older, but I don't know if I necessarily feel like an adult. You know?
Great post BTW!
love this post! I am not even close to feeling like an adult, I keep thinking once I start working it will hit, but secretly hope it never does!!
I think that as long as you have a parent, you still feel like a child. You can be a parent and still feel like a child.
It's a great feeling. As a parent, you always feel that your children are your children. I had the most wonderful time having all my girls home. It was sad when it was over knowing that it would be awhile before I had you all there again.
I love you all so much.
I don't think I'll ever really feel like and adult, and I don't think I will ever want to. My favorite thing about myself is that even as I mature and make mistakes I try and keep a bit of child in me.
Love this post because it's what's been on my mind lately. Next month I'll be 28 and I'm feeling like a real adult now. House,check, married, check, talking about babies, check, bills upon bills upon bills, booo check! I don't feel like I'm an adult, maybe when we have kids I will, but not now. I've been spending a lot of time with my family as well and I LOVE going to my parents' house. When the whole gang is there and my mom is cooking dinner, I really cherish those moments.
Not answering your question... because I'm still stuck on voting for Butterscotch Krimpets!!!!! My dad still buys them at his house and if I'm there, I usually sneak one in!!!!! :)