Being a Mom Makes Me the Best & Worst Version of Myself

 

Being a mom has changed my life in so many ways. I often talk about how awesome it is here on the blog, and more often than not, leave out some of the not so awesome stuff. Like incessant whining from a 2 year old and the daily dinner battle that brings both Shaun and I to our wit's end.

I had a revelation last week when Penelope and I both totally lost it over a shirt. Yes over a shirt. It caused tears and anger. Looking back, it is completely ridiculous. But as I got Penelope ready for daycare while quietly raging, it made me realize that being a mother makes me both the best and worst versions of myself.

There are so many ways in which being a Mom makes me the best person I can be. Before I was a Mom, I never knew that I could be so fun. I'm surprisingly less uptight as a Mom (though maybe Shaun won't agree with that :)). I find more joy in very small things. I've learned to love so strong that I hardly know how to handle it. My life is nothing without my child. I'm patient as a mother. I'm openly loving and affectionate - something that I've always struggled with. I'm happy to make a fool of myself. Tasks that in a previous life would have been unthinkable I now wear like a badge of honor. I feel empathy for others like never before, especially other parents, other children. All of these qualities in myself have been enhanced. Being a mother has moved me more toward the person I want to be and those are the times when I'm being my best version. Happy, fun, smiling, caring, empathetic, patient, and someone I'm honestly quite proud of.

But.

Let's be real. Being a mom isn't always fun and smiles and patience and dancing in the kitchen to Motown. In fact, sometimes it makes me feel downright inadequate and unhappy with myself and like I just can't handle it.

Last week, we had a snow day. I got to work from home and spend the day with Penelope. I was pretty excited. I set up an arts and crafts station for her with snacks and water. We worked side by side all morning. Penelope fought me on lunch - she only wants snacks. She fought me on nap time - she wanted to watch more Sofia the First. It ended with her screaming and me wishing a casual noon glass of wine would be socially acceptable.

On Friday, it was Dr. Seuss day at school. I didn't have a shirt for her (poor planning by this Mama) but when I awoke I realized that I could actually make her a really cute little shirt that would be even better than a store bought version. I DIY'd this sweet Thing 1 shirt with a little adhesive felt I had on hand and a sharpie. Done.

But when I showed P the shirt, she had a total meltdown. When I told her it was a special shirt and let's just try it on because Mommy made it for her, there was more screaming and tears. I got the shirt on her, if only for a photo, and Penelope sobbed uncontrollably in the shirt. So of course I wasn't going to make her wear it. I took it off and threw it more forcefully than I care to admit into the hamper.

I felt indignant, upset that my efforts went unappreciated (yes I realize she's only 2, but I wasn't being rational), disappointed that I wouldn't get my Friday photo of her in the shirt that I lovingly and creatively crafted. I felt angry. I packed her up and we left for school in a huff. She knew I was upset. As we walked down to the parking garage to the car, she grabbed for my hand. And I felt sad. I felt sad that I had let something very silly make me a terrible version of myself, and a Mom that I'm not proud of.

When we arrived at school, she still gave me a kiss and a hug, though I probably didn't deserve it. And I spent the rest of the day feeling terribly about myself and counting down the minutes until I could get home to her and ensure that she wasn't upset with me. My sweet little nugget ran to me as soon as I opened the front door, yelling 'Mama! Mama!'

So, in the end, it's all ok. I look back on that morning and hate everything about it. This wasn't the first time I've hated my worst version, and it won't be the last. We still have so many teenage years ahead of us and fighting over clothes probably won't ever go away. All I can do is focus on trying to be the best me and not letting the little things get the best of me (though it's easier said than done!).

And there's always a glass of wine at the end of the day, right?

So have you guys ever felt like this? Like your very best and very worst? Come and share some stories with me, and pretend we're chatting over a glass of Malbec :)

Veggie Egg Bake Brunch

So.

It's Monday.

Actually, I'm writing this on Sunday night while I rub my eyes, wishing it wasn't Sunday night/Monday morning, and that it was still mid-weekend. But it isn't. The good and bad news is that Daylight Savings has happened yet again. I'm psyched for a longer evening of light, but admittedly I really hate losing that hour. I'd say it might be my least favorite day of the whole year. The only thing that made this day so much better?

Brunch!

That's brunch with one of my longest friends, Tanuja, and her fiancee Ravin. They trekked out to Jersey City for a little brunchy with Shaun, Penelope and me. It was so fun to see them.

Tanuja and I met in college at NYU. We've been friends for about 15 years. She is getting married in May and I am so so thrilled for her. I cannot wait for her wedding in Dallas. I can't wait to see her get married, and it's going to be a great girls weekend! We also did a little shopping for wedding attire for me. I plan to wear a sari as it's a traditional Indian wedding and I can't even tell you how excited I am about this!

Before we picked out the most beautiful sari (seriously I'm obsessed!), we started the early afternoon at our place with all the food. We kept it simple with some bagels and spreads - veggie cream cheese, olive cream cheese & maple walnut cream cheese (yum) - and Penelope and I made this awesome veggie egg bake.

So I kind of broke the cardinal rule of entertaining. I decided to try a new dish for company. This is dangerous on so many levels, but it looked really delicious and healthy and I just wanted to give it a try. I'm so glad I did.

This dish was a team effort. I chopped and sauteed an array of vegetables - bell peppers, scallions, mushrooms - while Shaun and Penelope mixed up the eggs, milk and seasonings. Penelope had the job of cheese spreader. She was so great at this. She was so excited to help and sprinkle the yummy shredded cheddar cheese all over the top. And she so so loves cooking, you guys. It makes me so happy. Like so so so happy. So.

What I love about this veggie egg bake is that it tasted eggy, but not compacted eggs like a frittata. I'm kind of at a point in my life where frittata just isn't cutting it. This was one loaded casserole of vegetables, eggs and cheese. So much flavor and decadence but absolutely no guilt. The original recipe called for diced ham which I think would be fab, but I wanted to make this vegetarian. We didn't miss the meat at all. Next time I'll try it that way, perhaps. Otherwise, I followed this recipe pretty closely. I hope you try it...it's going to be my new go-to for brunch hosting!

What did you do this weekend?

Do you have a go-to brunch dish?

Have you ever had olive cream cheese? ...it was awesome!

Happy Friday!

 

How was your week? My week went well, but I'm still battling a mild and weird stomach bug or flu. I was supposed to fly out to Iowa yesterday, but my trip was canceled due to this crazy weather. Hopefully what they say is true: that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. I had to share the above photo with you because it's a prime example of Mom getting excited about something (this DIY Dr. Seuss shirt), and Penelope just hating all over it. While it was a rough morning, I have to look at this and laugh. Just keepin' it real for you. What are your weekend plans? Penelope and I are joining my mom and sisters for wedding dress shopping tomorrow, a potential date night with Shaun tomorrow evening, and then we are having friends over for brunch on Sunday. And most of all, I'm just hoping this plague passes us by sooner rather than later!

I hope you all have a wonderful and fun weekend! Here are some links to keep you distracted today!

These Lucky Charms marshmallow crispy treats look awesome

I'm going to try this paleo shamrock shake copycat

These dainty little sugar cookies look so cute and easy

Earlier this week was Dr. Seuss' birthday! Here are some Seusstastic quotes.

Love this behind-the-scenes from the creators of Always Sunny about how they didn't want to add Danny DeVito to the cast

A lesson in how to raise nice kids

Penelope is really becoming a snack monster and so I'm looking forward to trying these sunbutter energy bites for a healthy option

Would you drink this Peeps milk?

This low cal Mexican hot cocoa looks like a great easy treat

8 first time Mom mistakes. Yep.