Randomness + My First Published Article

This week has been weird. I feel thrown off by daylight savings (hate!) and my commutes have been pretty unfortunate leading to arriving home late after work and an immediate code red pajama situation. This week's Path rides truly make me question why I fight so hard for New York City. Sometimes the crowds and misery just really get to me and I wish I lived in a backwoods cabin somewhere. In fact, as I draft this on my phone I'm crammed in like a sardine with a woman leaning directly on me and resting her purse on my back.

All in all, I'm tired.

But I'm really digging the weather we've been having! It's been in the forties which feels surprisingly spring-like after the winter we've had.

{circa 2012}

Have you had a shamrock shake yet? So many articles going around about how it's got all the poison. I have a swap recipe that I'd like to work on perfecting, but also want to try this Hungry Girl version that my cousin recommended. Though I think peppermint extract will replace the fresh mint for me. #fakemintforever

Oh and, my friend Kristen clued me into the DQ grasshopper blizzard. I hope that happens this weekend!

Will you be eating and drinking for St. Pattys Day? I plan to make my favorite Irish soda bread on Sunday (seriously best.version.ever.) and we will likely have beer braised corn beef and cabbage for dinner. Such a delicious indulgence but it only happens once a year! Oh and I finally got P a shamrock t-shirt for school this Friday. Let's see how this one turns out!

In Penelope news, she is doing this really funny thing lately where she responds "I'm fine!" to everything. As in:

Penelope, do you want to have some dinner? I'm fine!

Penelope, do you want to put your scarf and hat on? I'm fine!

Penelope, can we please snuggle on the couch before bedtime? I'm fine!

Penelope, can Mommy please have a hug and kiss? I'm fine!

So yeah.

In big news, I'm really excited to share my first published magazine article! I wrote a piece for The Digest, a local mag spotlighting all things Jersey City and Hoboken.

My article about navigating the Jersey City dessert scene is on pg 55-56. Photos also by yours truly and I have to admit - I had a lot of fun conducting the research for this article! Oh and I'm also quoted on pg 63 about our favorite spots to go in JC with a tot in tow! And my friend Reesa (who connected me with The Digest!) also had a great article on the war against gluten on pgs. 67-68!

Exclamation points foreverrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and in very important news, I finally upgraded my phone iOS and got emojis! I know is this 2012? Either way I'm excited. So now be prepared for all the emojis all the time.

Have a great day!

What I Ate

It's Wednesday! Welcome to the hump!

I'm doing What I Ate Wednesday again this week and kind of loving taking a snapshot of my daily eats to share with you. I'm still following My Fitness Pal, and while weight is not exactly falling off of me, I've been finding it pretty easy to stick with and have lost a couple of pounds in the process. I was hoping that I'd have lost more last week with my tapeworm and all, but no dice unfortunately! One of the things I've really been loving lately is getting back in the kitchen for some creative meals! This week I already tried 2 new dishes (see them below!) and both were keepers. Shaun and Penelope agreed!

breakfast: wasa crisp 'n light crackers w/1 tbsp peanut butter & 1 banana, sliced on top; DD hazelnut w/cream & sweetener (obviously). peanut butter tends to be a gateway for me, so I measure it out each morning and only pack the amount that I allow myself to eat (1 tbsp per day). this is such a filling breakfast!

lunch: italian wedding soup! this was sunday's dinner and lunch on monday was leftovers. penelope and I cooked this up on sunday night and we all loved this soup! i did swap out pork meatballs for chicken, though.

snack: dannon light 'n fit cherry greek yogurt. yogurt isn't my fave, but it gets the job done.

dinner: honey mustard chicken thighs w/fresh tarragon + roasted asparagus (new go-to dinner for sure! and penelope helped prep this one too!)

To cap off the evening, I also enjoyed some deep dish cookie pie that I made last week. It's just.so.good!

I actually felt like this was a pretty balanced day, eating-wise. Lots of healthy food and tons of veggies (between the veggie-packed soup & dinner). I'm excited to hopefully share some more new foods with you next week!

What have you been eating lately?

Being a Mom Makes Me the Best & Worst Version of Myself

 

Being a mom has changed my life in so many ways. I often talk about how awesome it is here on the blog, and more often than not, leave out some of the not so awesome stuff. Like incessant whining from a 2 year old and the daily dinner battle that brings both Shaun and I to our wit's end.

I had a revelation last week when Penelope and I both totally lost it over a shirt. Yes over a shirt. It caused tears and anger. Looking back, it is completely ridiculous. But as I got Penelope ready for daycare while quietly raging, it made me realize that being a mother makes me both the best and worst versions of myself.

There are so many ways in which being a Mom makes me the best person I can be. Before I was a Mom, I never knew that I could be so fun. I'm surprisingly less uptight as a Mom (though maybe Shaun won't agree with that :)). I find more joy in very small things. I've learned to love so strong that I hardly know how to handle it. My life is nothing without my child. I'm patient as a mother. I'm openly loving and affectionate - something that I've always struggled with. I'm happy to make a fool of myself. Tasks that in a previous life would have been unthinkable I now wear like a badge of honor. I feel empathy for others like never before, especially other parents, other children. All of these qualities in myself have been enhanced. Being a mother has moved me more toward the person I want to be and those are the times when I'm being my best version. Happy, fun, smiling, caring, empathetic, patient, and someone I'm honestly quite proud of.

But.

Let's be real. Being a mom isn't always fun and smiles and patience and dancing in the kitchen to Motown. In fact, sometimes it makes me feel downright inadequate and unhappy with myself and like I just can't handle it.

Last week, we had a snow day. I got to work from home and spend the day with Penelope. I was pretty excited. I set up an arts and crafts station for her with snacks and water. We worked side by side all morning. Penelope fought me on lunch - she only wants snacks. She fought me on nap time - she wanted to watch more Sofia the First. It ended with her screaming and me wishing a casual noon glass of wine would be socially acceptable.

On Friday, it was Dr. Seuss day at school. I didn't have a shirt for her (poor planning by this Mama) but when I awoke I realized that I could actually make her a really cute little shirt that would be even better than a store bought version. I DIY'd this sweet Thing 1 shirt with a little adhesive felt I had on hand and a sharpie. Done.

But when I showed P the shirt, she had a total meltdown. When I told her it was a special shirt and let's just try it on because Mommy made it for her, there was more screaming and tears. I got the shirt on her, if only for a photo, and Penelope sobbed uncontrollably in the shirt. So of course I wasn't going to make her wear it. I took it off and threw it more forcefully than I care to admit into the hamper.

I felt indignant, upset that my efforts went unappreciated (yes I realize she's only 2, but I wasn't being rational), disappointed that I wouldn't get my Friday photo of her in the shirt that I lovingly and creatively crafted. I felt angry. I packed her up and we left for school in a huff. She knew I was upset. As we walked down to the parking garage to the car, she grabbed for my hand. And I felt sad. I felt sad that I had let something very silly make me a terrible version of myself, and a Mom that I'm not proud of.

When we arrived at school, she still gave me a kiss and a hug, though I probably didn't deserve it. And I spent the rest of the day feeling terribly about myself and counting down the minutes until I could get home to her and ensure that she wasn't upset with me. My sweet little nugget ran to me as soon as I opened the front door, yelling 'Mama! Mama!'

So, in the end, it's all ok. I look back on that morning and hate everything about it. This wasn't the first time I've hated my worst version, and it won't be the last. We still have so many teenage years ahead of us and fighting over clothes probably won't ever go away. All I can do is focus on trying to be the best me and not letting the little things get the best of me (though it's easier said than done!).

And there's always a glass of wine at the end of the day, right?

So have you guys ever felt like this? Like your very best and very worst? Come and share some stories with me, and pretend we're chatting over a glass of Malbec :)